The Bestest Teacher Ever!

So A few Days ago I was waiting out side my nephews school, He is usually flying out of that school like a bat out of hell and I have to cloths line him to avoid him running strait into the road... But this day he was taking his good old time... I noticed a teacher, Mrs. Brown she was eying me... like... I know this lady... eying me... I having the memory that I have I remembered her from Elem. school she was a 1st grade teacher not mine just one of the other teachers. I said "Hello Mrs. Brown" she nodded and smiled. Then when my nephew came out of the building she said " Lucas who is this lady? Lucas said "this is my Aunt Rachel" As he tugged on my cloths to try and pull me away from the school and towards the parking lot.

I asked Mrs. Brown if my most favorite teacher Miss Barken still worked there at that school... she said "Yes", with a smile then said "this will be her last year, she's retiring." "Oh" I said, "I'll have to make it up here to wish her fair well." I hadn't seen her since I did Kindergarten observations like 8 years ago and then it was only briefly just a fast Hi, how are things in a passing moment.

I feel the need to tell you how very important this women was. She was a fantastic teacher. I'm going to go out on a limb here and let you in on something that not many ppl in my adult life know she was my special education teacher, my Learning Disabilities teacher... But she was more then that to me, she was someone I looked up to some one I knew cared deeply for me. I sat in her class room for 3 yrs starting in 3rd grade and all through 4th and 5th. going between my regular classes back and forth every day. I watched how she helped each and every child that was in her class room how she always went that extra mile for them giving hugs and smiles to lift sprites and singing songs and even rapping... as corny as that sounds... she was fantastic!


I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me and how I think she helped make me into who I am today. She was the most positive influence in my life during those years it was right after my folks got a divorce. Things just weren't pretty for me, She made the grey skies clear up!

I wanted to let her know that I never forgot anything ever... I never forgot that she loved chocolate, and she had all the sweet fruit smelling markers in the world in a cup on her desk, I never forgot all the times she reminded me that I could be what ever I wanted in life and that having a disability didn't mean I wasn't smart. I needed reminded of that alot for some reason kids reminded me all the time that I was in the sped classes and when your a kid those words can hurt. She made me spelling tapes were she would spell out all twenty of my words on a tape recorder 3 times each every week she made me those tapes. She made those tapes for each student we were all on different levels. I'll never forget that she took me to the ballet during the summer and to a fancy dinner that I had to wear a dress to. She took me to see a movie too at the theater, things like that didn't happen in my house with my mom we didn't have money for those sorts of things. She hooked me up with a pen pal too whose name was the same as mine and we were the same age. Fun times.

She nurtured my love for reading and challenged me to read all the time. In Fifth grade I read the most books out of any other 5th grader in the school. She lent me her copies Anne of Green Gables and A Blue Eyed Daisy which is still on my all time favorite list. For a kid who couldn't spell to save her life I could read like no other and by the time I was in the 6th grade I was reading things like Steven King.. and Poe. I don't know if she would have approved that reading material but she wasn't my teacher anymore and I didn't read that stuff at school anyway only at home. At school I read what was suggested.

As a rebelling teenager I was having issues in my freshmen year. My mother called the BOE and asked if they could get a message to Miss Barken ...My mother knew that this teacher had an effect on me so thought Miss Barken might tutor me for a small fee. And she did. Weekly she would come over and help me with some homework and teach me studying methods. At this point in my life I was a bitter, hateful, grungy pot smoking, teenager, who hated anything that had to do with adults and conforming... So one day I decided to tell her that I didn't want her to help me out any more. My mom was at work so she couldn't stop me so I just said I didn't want to be tutored any more. Miss Barken got into her teal blue car and drove away as I sat perched on the kitchen window sill smoking a Marlboro menthol. I thought for a moment that I may have hurt her feelings but at that time I didn't really care.

I care now though and feel horrible about it. I wanted her to know how fantastic she was. So I got her a card, and I wrote her a letter and personally delivered it to her class room at the end of the day on Friday. You should have seen her face when I walked through the door... She still looks the same minus the hair...Perms were in way back then...thank goodness they aren't now her hair is still the same soft golden color and she still has the same huge smile and warm eyes... Her hug felt the same, safe and loving, Her voice was the same as well. She was setting at a half circle table in a nearly empty room just two children sat with her at that table. (the others were in gym) She teaches regular classes now, but those two children setting at the table they needed something...they needed what she was giving...they needed that lift, that extra mile, that push, that smile and those hugs they needed her!

The worst experience I have had in a long time just happened to me. I was driving home from my sons school I was taking his friend home...you know, car pool stuff. I was driving up the road right next to the school one block over and there was a bunch of kids in the road walking it took them a while to get out of the road and when they did they stopped on the curb. Now mind you while I was driving behind them the boys in the back seat were paying attention and making note they they could see the underpants of two of the boys. These older boys were not just bustin a sag their pants where around their ankles and they were hollering at two girls on a porch near by.

The boys stopped on the curb to talk with the girls. When I got to them I stopped the car and rolled down my window and said "hey sweety, I just want to let you know that there are two little boys in the back seat of this car looking at you" before I could continue telling him I wanted him to know that they were going remember that experience and hopefully wouldn't repeat it when they got older. This young boy couldn't have been no more the 14 started cussing and screaming at me."fuck you, fuck you white Bitch" Fuck you! I'll show you my fuckin ass! fuck you" Fuckin white bitch. I began to shake literally I was pissed off. how could any child have the balls big enough to speak to any adult this way.

All the while there was a girl with them saying chill out, chill out... and I was trying to let him know I wasn't being angry with him... I was speaking to him in the best cool mom tone I could. That girl got yelled at too he told her "fuck you, fuck that" Part of me wants to give that kid a hug he prolly needs one. The other part of me wants to find his mom and drag his lil fanny home to her for a butt whoopin' wonder if she would punish him for being so disrespectful to an adult and the girls he was in the presents of. Before I gave up and started to drive away one of the boys picked up a rock and threw it at the side door of the van the one the boys sat behind, behind the tented glass looking at that behavior of those older boys.

I feel like I shouldn't have even bothered, My husband said I was crazy for even stopping, I grew up in a neighborhood much like the one my sons school sets in I am not afraid of what is there and the behaviors are like there. When I grew up I got my butt beat for behavior like that. Not that I ever walked around with my pants to my ankles...But I do remember being disrespectful to an adult once... you now when I got home I walked right into a back hand in the mouth... God, I love my mother:)

MY husband says I should just give up on our neighborhood being a community, I can't though. It takes a village!

Thirty things I believe.

Thirty things I believe I got this amazing link form a amazing friend. It has inspired me to write down just thirty things I believe in.

I believe in love at first site!
I believe that miracles happen daily
I believe your words can change your life
i believe prayer works
I believe in God and his son
I believe that nothing is impossible
I believe the only way to fail is to give up.
I believe in peace
I believe we can all heal
I believe that smiles and laughter are the best medicines
I believe small children and babies are great judges of character
I believe I can make a difference
I believe that you will reap what you sow
I believe in my self
I believe that mothers have an incredible amount of stength
I believe that all you really need is love
I believe my children will make a brighter future for their children
I believe things would be better if love ruled the world and not money
I believe rain is the greatest gift
I believe that children are special
I believe that the eyes really are the window to the soul
I believe I matter
I believe that life all of it should be valued
I believe that we should respect and love every ones differences
I believe that fear breeds for hate
I believe that music speaks to your soul
I believe that music can change your mood
I believe in wishing on stars
I believe outside is the best place to be
I believe we can make a difference

2 a.m. I was awakened by the sounds of a child heaving vomit from her stomach out of her mouth down the side of her bunk bed and on to the floor. I swear it felt like I just feel asleep. So I do the rub, rub, rub the back and scoop the puking mess of a sweet angel off her bunk and head for the RR all the while the Dh is frantically trying to find a cup of for water and the trusty puke bucket. He asked me with all seriousness "why do our kids always get sick?" Like I freakin know. Because they are kids and attend school, maybe... Maybe he mated with some unhealthy beast of a women whose children have less then optimal immune systems. Maybe we eat unhealthy foods or our home is polluted with toxic chemicals that make it easier for the ick that our children are allergic to fester. Hell I don't know why they get sick its two a freakin clock in the morning!

I get us all cleaned up and we make our way to the sick room also know as the living room. When ever someone is sick we set up shop in the living room in the lazy boy that is easy to wipe. If more vomit gets extruded from this lil body it will be easy to clean up. yes, sir that was my plan.

I have my cell phone with me for an alarm so I can wake the husband for work and get the boy child off to school. Not that I needed it cause I didn't sleep much after that. She was dealing with the dry heaves for sometime and then just became restless, tossing and turning. My alarm went off and I got disgusted... grrr... I marched up stairs sat on the side of my bed and began to beg my husband to wake up... literally... the sooner he wakes the sooner I can lay back down, right... Not so. My persistent cries "please , please , please, wake up honey I want to sleep for another hour before B gets up.

Knock , knock... "Mommy, is it time for school? It would appear that my cries woke up the boy child and not his father ... Sigh... Yes, go get your cloths and I'll iron them. I put a lil pressure on my husbands leg and he lets out a little peep of a whine... That sent me over the edge...I shouted WTF and and stormed out of the room like a 3 yr old having a temper tantrum. I am just so sick and freakin tired of having to wake up my 30 yr old husband every single day it takes so much out of me first thing in the morning. Like getting hit with a big ball of negative energy. He lays there simi awake and knows how irritated it makes me that he just lays there yet wont respond or even try and move until every last bit of morning goodness I have is gone and he has me totally pissed off or just sad that I let him take that much out of me... I'm sure he can hear it in my voice. ppl this isn't like a five min wake thing this last for nearly an hour every morning. god help me! and I had no sleep!

By this time all the children are awake, the sweet angel who was a hot vomit mess last night so needed to sleep in but her bestest bud and cousin who lives with us thought she would wake her to check on her as she slept peacefully in the living room. How thoughtful... Now every one is up and ready for the morning chaos.

Husband out the door, Niece off to visit Opa and her mother, and the boy off to school...sigh... O and I still in our Pj's it's 9 a.m. let's take a nap. I drift in and out of sleep while she lays next to me watching cartoons for nearly 4 hours. I don't know if she ever drifted off if she did it must not have been for long cause the sweet angel crashed at 8 sharp tonight. Hopefully no puke tonight. fingers crossed.

I Love my city I so got community pride... to the point that it sickens my husband and friends. I grew up here I left here and came home here to raise my family. Now I am having a hard time dealing with the school system here. Which breaks my heart.

When I was in school I know our school system us to get bad press a lot with drug dogs at the school on a weekly basis and fights with Clorox in squirt guns and girls beating each other with combination locks...ouch... yeah the good ol' days. We were still great though we never made the papers for all the good stuff we did. Oh and let me let you in on a little secret the drugs we all know where they were out in the burbs for the most part I mean we had pot and beer all around at most parties but if you wanted more you had to get it form someone in the burbs where people could afford that crap. Well I had a friend who graduated form the school that would be wearing orange and black and she told me that when she was in school they would announce two days ahead of time that there was going to be a random locker search with drug dogs. Two days warning people..that's why they were never in the paper! They got a chance to get all the stuff they had stashed out, and then bash us for a kid getting busted with a bowl. The nerve.

On to what I was saying. Warren city schools aren't bad thats what I have been saying forever. And you get out what you put in. but what happens when they don't let you put in.

I put my son in his first year was spent at Lincoln thanks to the open enrollment. Lovely place it was. Then this year he went to Devon because he didnt get accepted for Lincolns open enrollment. We are literally 1 block away from the boundy. Now his new school is complete. And it is on the other side of a main road. I will be driving him or walking him just the same as i did when he went to Lincoln and Devon all of these schools are in walking distance.

Here is were my problems lie. Things have certainly changed from when I was in school. When I was in school parents were a welcome sight in the building the more the merrier. Children's whose parents participate succeed! Our parents knew that. I know that. Whats even better the schools knew that. My son has a fabulous teacher who has asked me to come in and help out in the class with centers and extra help in reading and math. Great I'm all for it, I want to go, sign me up! Problem.... It is like pulling teeth to get them to let parents just come to the school. I have asked to volunteer and I got to go in twice and cut Campbell's soup labels. Fun enough. but what about helping out like the teacher asked me? I want to be part of my sons education. On party days...get this they have a group of people sponsor the parties and allow them to be in the class room now these people aren't parents of the students perfect strangers doing charitable work.how nice right... well because those people are in the class room they sent a note home saying only one parent per class was allowed in the room during party time...WTF? How is that cool that some stranger can be there for my child's party but I can't?(though I was the parent who got picked but there were others that wanted to go but couldn't)

How am I suppose to get the best possible product (my son) If I am not permitted to put anything into his education? The fact the the districts scores are terrible is another story all on its own. Maybe scores would be higher if parents were a part of the equation or maybe challenging the kids a bit more. My son brings home this lil sheet once a month that says read 5 books for a pizza party... five books???? he reads that in a day plus a chapter book a week with me at bed time. I asked why it was only 5 and they said they have to make it attainable for everyone...OMGOSH! SAD SAD SAD... lower my sons standards to meet someone else need... disgust! We read more then is required but that's because after he protested and said he only HAD to read five books a month I told him he had to continue with his regular reading that he has always done... or his brain would shrink.

The environment of the school is that of a less savory flavor. The brand spanking new facility is fantastic but I am afraid that it will get destroyed by the areas thugs and brats that run a muck over there... much like where I grew up. I remember my elementary school would board up the windows and take the swings and the basket ball hoops down in prep for summer, because they didn't want the neighborhood kids playing distructo all summer long. I moved away from that side of town and bought a home on the east side because I wanted better for my children. and here we are. In the same boat just a few miles away, like I rowed in a circle.

Some one called me a snob for feeling that my son deserved better then what they are offering. It's not just my son.... I feel that every child in this city deserves better then what is being offered. better standards.

And another thing. this morning. when I was walking him up to the school a bus was unloading a female teacher was standing at the door, there was another female teacher standing like a drill Sargent with her hands behind her back smiling at the children as she told them to line up in a singel file in the 15 degrees they all had to wait to make a line. i looked at her and said wow...its like mility boot camp bus unloading... she said yeah, we try and keep some order... what ever I thought... and then I said "order? they are little kids".... I was thinking about how they are all going to be setting behind a desk for the next 6 hours that would be plenty of order for one day I would think let them bustle about and talk on their way to those desk.

Recession Road

As was posted at Mommytalk.com

I grew up in the 80's and 90's and it was the best. My early years were spent in a recession but you know what? I was okay with that. I didn't know any better. I thought that's how things were supposed to be. My dad had 18 years in a steel mill then it just shut down one day and he was jobless. We weren't going hungry or anything, but we weren't eating steak for dinner ever night or even hamburgers. But we were eating. Just like we always had, with stick to your ribs kinda food like mashed potatoes and hamburger gravy with green beans; or some beans and corn bread. (I wish my family would eat that stuff now.) That's where I came from.
So all this talk is getting me a little down. I mean why is it SO BAD? I feel bad for the people who are suffering. I do, really. You would think that my house would be suffering but were aren't any worse off than we were before the recession, even though my husband's hours at work have been cut. We are still okay; just the same as we have been for the last six years. Maybe it's because we never really enjoyed lavish spending sprees. I mean, I hear about how people aren't spending on things they normally would, like tanning, nails and lunches with girlfriends. I never really did that stuff to begin with, so I'm not really missing that, though I did get the look when he saw the phone bill. Looks like my long distance has been nixed. We really have only ever lived within our means, only spending extra when it was really extra... and that was hardly ever. Don't get me wrong. We would spend on things like going to concerts a few times a year, but really that would be it.
A while back I posted a comment on a post that mouthygirl wrote about the path less traveled. It seems I am always on that path, the harder path to trek; the path that makes you strong; the path that gets you dirty; the path that trips you up sometimes. That's were I am and it looks like I am getting some company! Welcome to the dirt road! I'll call it Recession Road for the heck of it. Pull up your boot straps and dig in, people. Pinch your pennies and stretch that dollar. People are nice here on this road. All the neighbors help each other out. It's a great place to be and it will build character.
If things are getting tight at your house, think about what you're spending. Do you have 300 TV channels? You don't need them. How about that kid of yours? Yeah, she's 10. Does she really need a cell phone? PLEASE! Can her cell phone and buy a hungry family a meal! Think about all the things in your daily life. Are the things you do or use things you need or want? I want, I want, I want is what got us into the recession in the first place.
What I'm saying here people is that times are tough. Think about what's important and make a change.

Growing Family

The growing season in my garden this year seems to be a little off. I sprouted a new kid back in Oct. And her roots are sinking deep into the rich soil we have here. What a wonderful birthday gift, right?

It's a a bit jacked up how I got this addition in my family. She belongs to my sister. See my sister has a drug habit that goes back like... lets see...hmmm 24 yrs and her wrong choices finally caught up to her, thank God. The powers that be let me have this sweet child rather then put her in foster care. For that I am greatful.

She is just as beautiful as the other beautiful flowers that bloom here, she is as bright as the suns rays that get caught in the dew drops. I wonder why her own mother never noticed that twinkle that spark? (oh she had her cocain shades on that makes everything all white, can't see a dosh garn thing with them on)

She is 9 months older then my pretty posey O so they are like two peas in a pod and B the big boy he isn't all that thrilled about having another girl in the house, it seems to be disrupting the flow of testostron. We did have an even fifty fifty... he can feel the girl power now there is more of it. Poor little guy, he said having two 4 yr olds around was like being back in kindergaten... he is so annoyed.

I recently was asked if I could do this on a permanent basis, It didn't take that much thinking... of course I could... How could you not? After some discussion with my DH and a little talk with the kids we decided that we would be able to handle another child. It's an odd sort of thing though like perma-baby-sitting... I mean shes four shes got her own set of rules that she has been raised with her own sort of living style her own likes and dislikes that had no influence form us, her own language and play styles that couldn't be molded into something that we think appropriate.

You know how when you have your children you have certain things like... I will not tolerate my children saying the words shut-up, stupid...they are bad words here, just as bad as the F word. So what sort of thing happens when they are a regular part of the kid that your settings vocab? Don't say that? Gasp? OMGosh? I just have been saying we don't use that word here. It is working but thats who she is... I don't want to change who she is... I don't want to make her feel like who she is isn't right. I want her to have good table manners and use her fork and spoon the right way but how do you do that without making her feel like the way she is doing it is wrong? I'm in such a spot with all of this. What to do? What to do?

I know everything will work out.